Thursday, October 31, 2013

Your First Moves

The onset of the Zombie Apocalypse could be packaged and delivered in a variety of different ways, from the glaringly obvious rise of the dead as we would imagine it - hordes of zombies busting down doors and through windows - to the "slow roll" type of onset - cases of cannibalism being reported on the news more frequently as the crisis slowly develops. The difference between these two extremes and the entire range of possibilities between them will play a major role in your initial reaction to this major disaster - if you see corpses walking and attacking other people, you will be more certain of your evaluation of the situation than if you see one shambling asshole moseying down an otherwise empty alley. Considering the inability of a logical person to determine that the Zombie Apocalypse is here without irrefutable evidence, you will benefit MORE from witnessing an army of zombies attacking people than you would if you were to just see one or two zombies shuffling about the parking lot of the shopping plaza where you work (assuming of course you aren't eaten at this juncture). 

It is almost better to witness zombies eat people before you know what is going on because the certainty that would come with seeing the disaster unfold in front of you would give you the “go ahead” that you would need to drop what you are doing and run for your damn life. You wouldn't struggle with any doubt about what is happening if you witness it first hand. Hopefully you are informed/creative/morbid enough to recognize a zombie when you see one because the first moves you make in the Zombie Apocalypse could dictate exactly how long you last or how quickly you become zombie dinner.

The very first few moves you make must be decisive, calculated, and absolutely flawless in execution. You will always want to escape immediate danger first and foremost. The best way to stay a non-zombie is to avoid the chance of becoming a zombie altogether. If the onset is chaotic and the zombies have the upper hand then run for your life. If you find that you lack definitive enough proof that zombies are upon us, hopefully your interest in this blog will at least raise a red flag in the back of your mind. Zombies must always be considered a possibility.

Chance will dictate who survives in the beginning for most people, the unprepared. Most will be caught with their pants down - some literally - and their escape will be a mad scramble as fast as possible to nowhere in particular. Knowing where you are running TO is part of what separates survivors from fodder. Have a plan or at least some idea of where you are going and for what purpose.

In some instances, removing yourself from danger will be best accomplished by getting to a rooftop, or some other place with a physically restrictive means of access. If such an option is presented to you, certain characteristics should be sought to determine long term use of this hideaway. More on that here!

Your next move should be to arm yourself.  Guns are nice if you are already well versed in their use. Other weapons to consider are more common items - sports equipment (baseball bat, hockey stick, lacrosse stick), tools (hammer, wrench, sledge), or any of these blades. Anything that packs a punch. You don’t want to be caught in a situation where you have to get past a zombie or two to get to your next destination but have nothing but bare hands with which to neutralize said enemy. There is no need to be picky AT FIRST in the urgency of your hasty retreat from danger. Depending on what you see laying around - umbrella on an outdoor dining set, pick it up - fallen branch of decent size, pick it up - steel folding chair, pick it up. Something is better than nothing at all in your mad dash to better your situation. Obviously if you find something more durable than what you are holding, consider swapping weapons. You don’t want to use such flimsy items as long term weapons, but for the immediate future literally almost ANYTHING is better than your bare hands.

After removing yourself from immediate danger and picking up at least the crudest weapon immediately available to you, there are a few different routes to pursue that are specific to you and your life before the Zombie Apocalypse. Some people will have families and will move to Secure Loved Ones while others have little so dear to them and can start preparing for Long Term Survival in a world possibly overrun with endless hordes of flesh eating monsters.


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The Zombie Apocalypse And You!

Welcome to The Zombie Apocalypse And You! 

If you're a good friend, you will share this blog with everybody you wish to survive the tough times that are undoubtedly in the near future. 

If you're not a good friend then at least you are ensuring your own safety by visiting this blog! You are NOT a selfish person...



Twitter @Matt_InTheWoods 
Facebook.com/InTheWoodsEntertainment


Got Fiction? Got Zombie? Got Blog? Send all submissions to ManagerInTheWoods@gmail.com for publishing consideration.