Minimize Work, Maximize Lethality

22 is the magic number. A .22 caliber (preferably .22 Long Rifle which I’ll now refer to as LR) is your best friend in the beginning stages of the Zombie Apocalypse. Movement is your primary concern; and if you’re a lazy bastard like me you don’t want all that extra stuff to lug around, which means you need light weight supplies. A brick (500 bullets) of .22 LR weighs approximately 3.5 pounds versus the same number of bullets of .223/5.56 which is one of the most popular sporting rifles rounds in distribution today via the AR-15 (Oh God! That evil rifle the news is always talking about!) and other variants of that rifle, weighing in at about 16 pounds. Same count, just under 5 times the weight. I’ll run around with the .22 myself.

As far as the actual guns to go with—the world is open at this point, so find something comfortable.  There is a specific rifle I would recommend were it not for trademark and copyright issues; I will say this though—Take Down. Look it up in reference to the .22 LR and you’ll find what you’re looking for. Light weight, easy to clean, and can be split in half if space is an issue. Other than the factor of weight, when it comes to .22 you have a lot of key features which I fell in love with while working with guns. 

In the Zombie Apocalypse you’re going to have a bunch of anti-gunners that will finally realize the usefulness of America’s pro-gunners; and .22 is an easy round to teach people to work with due to low recoil and sound. You never want to put someone in a situation where they can’t handle a firearm or the noise it makes, and I plan to teach my daughter how to shoot at age 5 (Hopefully she doesn’t end up shooting better than me that young) on, you guessed it, a .22. Another very sound reason for going with the .22 is what’s called over-penetration.  Have you ever watched a movie and seen the bad (or sometimes good) guy shoot one person and the bullet goes through and hits X amount of bystanders? (Shit I just shot the Pope aiming for the zombie trying to eat him) Not likely if at all possible with a .22.  The bullet is so small that it will actually ricochet off of any bone it contacts once inside the body, that goes for zombies as well as well as any less than friendly non-zombies you may run into, (Imagine the legendary baddie the Governor going down from a .22) so your only concern when wondering if you may hit someone or something you’re not intending to is if you’re a bad shot and might miss.

Now, if you’re intent on getting a little more power with your shot, then carbine rifles are the way to go. (Warning! Evil rifle alert) The ever popular AR-15 is nice, but the gun itself is on the larger side despite what most people seem to believe about it. Coming in at an average of 2 and a half to 3 feet long they’re not easy to maneuver with. (Insert obligatory “That’s what she said.”)

Two personal favorites of mine are the Beretta CX 4 Storm (coming in 9 millimeter, .40 caliber, and the knock down .45 caliber) and HK USC model, sadly only in .45 cal (Keep the Volkswagens and beer, give me a German gun any day). A slight downside—the HK USC was discontinued in 2013, but if you can come across one, find a way to make it yours, they are German artwork. A comparable, possibly even better rifle after doing a little more research, seems to be the KRISS Vector CRB .45. I haven’t personally shot one but having watched several videos on them they seem to be reliable, accurate, and user friendly; which is always a nice bonus. Best part of working with a .45 caliber rifle? POP goes the zombie head. Both the HK and Beretta come in at an approximate minimum length of 18 inches, and a maximum of approximately 22 inches. The Vector comes in at a more hefty length 34.8 inches (Giggity) so it is closer to an AR-15 in size.

What caliber would I go with you ask?  The 9 millimeter all day. Because of that logic, there is one more rifle that must be noted—the KelTec Sub 2000. Light weight, compact (folds in half similar to the .22 mentioned earlier) and accurate with little compensation up to 50 yards. Nobody enjoys having to compensate for shortcomings. The same logic is applied here as with the .22. The bigger the bullet, the more weight you have to deal with and speed is always a factor. I love working with anything .45 caliber, but there are times when logic must beat love, and moving from one place to another in the early stages of the Zombie Apocalypse requires logic before all else. A particular beauty of the CX model is that if you go with 9 mm and happen to have a fond liking for Beretta pistols, if you have the model 92FS or the PX 4 9mm you also have an easy swap of magazines. The 92FS will work with the CX 4 rifle but the rifle magazine won’t work with the pistol. However, if you have the PX 4 pistol, the magazine from rifle to pistol and vice versa is interchangeable.

Covering magazine capabilities

Depending on the state you live in your magazine options may be limited.  If, like me, you’re stuck in a repressive state (New York) or worse yet my state of birth New Jersey (which is probably where the outbreak will start due to radiation or petrochemical exposure), you are, for lack of a better term, screwed. Magazine capacity is limited to 10 at most. I covered the Beretta magazines earlier so we can jump to the other guns. For the .22 you have a standard rotary magazine available wherever most firearms accessories can be found, which will normally give you a 10 round capacity anyway; however you also have what is called a Banana magazine (depending on your preferences, could help with more than just guns wink wink), which is in essence exactly what it sounds like. It has the rotary magazine body on top to fit any rotary style .22, with a hooked extension that looks just like a banana.  These usually come in a 25 shot capacity. The HK magazines (called “stick” magazines because of their rectangular appearance) vary in size, generally 10 rounds, but you can find 15 and 20 round magazines.  Both the Vector and KelTec take Glock magazines which vary from 10 rounds up to 33 rounds.  The KelTec, depending on which model you get will also accept Smith & Wesson Model 59, Beretta 92FS, and Sig Saur P226 magazines.

Coming Soon!

Side Arms (Have to match those rifle mags with the pistols they were designed for)

Archery (Even if you press your own ammo eventually gun powder goes dry)

Blades (SCHWING!)

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