What Can I Do RIGHT NOW?

So many people gobbled up by such an easy monster to defeat - why is it that nobody was prepared for this?

What Can I Do RIGHT NOW?

Following the steps I have laid out thus far should bring you to a point where you have a few moments to reflect on life as it once was. Advertisements for all sorts of luxuries used to burn their way into your memory. The lovely, textbook “American Dream” family life that you may have once had has turned into a tale of terror. The key characteristic for success and survival regresses from communication (business, sales, marketing) back to something more physical, more primitive. Money suddenly takes a step back as many tumble from the top of Maslow‘s Hierarchy to the bottom. But not you. You, reading this blog, you have on the slip resistant shoes. Big ups buddy.

Your mind may also wander into the land of regret and doubt - what could I have done to better prepare myself? And you, reading this now, might be thinking that very question but in the present tense. Stroking your chin, in deep thought. Thankful for all those times you were pooping and decided to pass the time by letting your mind wander to fantastical ideas such as the Zombie Apocalypse (I’m not saying I write this blog on the potty, but I’m not saying that I don’t either) and what you would do in such an event. This post is your remedy. I am your slip resistant shoes. 

Physical training now will pay huge dividends later after the Zombie Apocalypse begins. If you are fit, fast, strong then you have a serious leg up on a lot of the fodder. This also includes any weapons training or self defense training you could acquire from professionals in the world in its current state. Learning how to shoot a gun, use a sword, or kick box (yeah I went there) could help to prepare you for using - at least attempting - these techniques in real time when it counts.

Learning homesteading techniques is becoming more and more commonplace in American culture for many reasons - fear and panic towards the current economic state of the world, preparation for a catastrophic event, the sudden popularity of being a “red neck” that has hit pop culture (on a side note WTF is up with that anyway?) and an overactive imagination (hooray for nerds like me). Any knowledge relating to self sufficiency and living off the land tactics such as raising crops and animals will be worth its weight in food during the Zombie Apocalypse.

Plotting out your course of actions in advance of the impending zombie epidemic is probably the most important thing you can do right now. As a frequenter of zombie fiction in all forms, I used to be perplexed at how some people who appeared totally worthless made it as far as they did. Planning. If chance dictates anything during the Zombie Apocalypse, planning is the way to hedge your bet and stack your chances of survival. Physical training is meaningless if you don’t have a plan and wind up cornered somewhere inhospitable, with shambling assholes banging on the windows to gobble you up. Homesteading will only be useful once out of immediate danger and setup in a fortress. If you have a plan, it can be curtailed to meet your strengths and dodge obstacles presented by your shortcomings. The plus-sized potential survivors can plan a route that doesn’t involve running. The scrawny can plan ahead and make certain they won’t have to lift anything heavy. And those of us who have no formal education in anything that is useful after the breakdown of society can start learning some of those things immediately. 

If you take these words seriously (save maybe the bit on poop), you WILL increase your chance of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. Having a plan and preparing yourself mentally and physically for disaster is the only way to give yourself an edge when, as a wise man once put it, the shit goes down. If you don’t prepare for doomsday scenarios of any sort, hey, maybe you’ll get lucky. And if you think you are lucky, go to the casino. That is where ALL the lucky people hang out. 

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